Did you know that 40-50% of marriages end in divorce? Yet, no matter how common it is, it never gets easier for anyone. The rate of divorce in the U.S. is staggering. And what people sometimes forget is that your actions can make it even worse.
One of the most common causes of divorce is infidelity. It’s challenging to deal with extramarital affairs because marriage is a monogamous institution. Psychologically, it’s challenging to forgive someone who cheated because the offended spouse will deal with the paranoia daily.
It’s stressful enough to deal with problems at work or with the rest of the family members. It gets even more difficult and extremely complicated when you have intrusive thoughts about your partner being with someone else. That’s why most people who are victims of cheating spouses often go through depression.
Another common cause of divorce is financial trouble. It’s no news that couples often fight about money. One thing you can do to avoid this issue is simple: don’t spend too much on the wedding. Expensive weddings set couples up for disaster more than once.
Marriages that work through financial problems involve two honest people. They should be able to discuss issues about money calmly and civilly. In addition, understanding each other’s financial mindset can help you avoid many problems along the way.
There are many more causes for divorce. It’s a difficult time and experience not only for the couple but especially for the children. Studies have shown that children with divorcing or divorced parents have difficulty performing well at school. They tend to withdraw from people and eventually develop mental health conditions. Here’s how you can avoid making things worse.
Be Forthcoming
A reliable divorce attorney can handle the truth and all the facts. On the other hand, surprises can only set you up for failure. That’s why the first thing you have to consider is, to be honest. Give your attorney the chance to defend you from all directors.
Don’t be afraid of giving out the facts because your communication with your lawyer is privileged. In the first place, your lawyer isn’t there to judge you. Your lawyer is there to defend your case, and telling the truth will equip him better for it.
The facts will help your lawyer devise the most suitable strategy for your case. In addition, you can’t let your judgment twist the facts because you think they would serve you better. Your lawyer knows and understands the law better than you. That’s why you hired him.
You Can Be Emotional, But Don’t Act On It
No one can tell you not to be angry or upset. Feel free to accept every range of emotion you get during this ordeal because it’s only natural. Divorce is a heavily emotional thing to go through, and you’re expecting to be human every step of the way.
Just remember that if you act on every emotional whim, you may make things worse. For example, if you talk ill about your spouse or ex in front of their children, it’s going to teach them not only your version of the truth but that it’s okay to belittle or insult other people behind their back.
If you turn to illegal drugs or excessive alcohol to numb the pain, you’re going to develop maladaptive coping mechanisms. Not only will you hurt your body, but you will damage your performance at work and the lives of your children. Remember that just because you’re not allowed to do bad things doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel bad things either.
You are allowed to be sad, broken, and angry. You are allowed to be upset, desolate, and even hopeless. You are entitled to feel all these things. But at the end of the day, you mustn’t always act on your feelings.
This is why you shouldn’t be insulting your soon-to-be ex-spouse through text, email, or posting online. It would be best if you weren’t threatening them. And most of all, you shouldn’t physically hurt them. These actions can make the whole situation worse. You can lose the case or incur charges and pay damages.
Be Calm and Civil
Always act with care and dignity. Maybe you were the wronged spouse, and your partner cheated on you or spent all your money. Perhaps you do deserve revenge. But this is not the avenue to achieve retribution.
If you genuinely want to pay your ex back, pay them back by working on yourself. Focus on work. Stay hydrated, don’t forget to eat a balanced diet, and exercise. Lose weight and get a better figure. Find a hobby or travel the world.
The best revenge is to be happy. And that’s why in the process, you don’t want to be impulsive. You don’t want to act out on your anger or frustration. Instead, you want to act with dignity and grace no matter what.
Nobody wants a divorce. Instead, they want to stop hurting and be happy. And sometimes, divorce is the only choice. You are not alone, and you always have a lawyer to help walk you through every step of the way.
